Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Planet of the APES

In my last posting we talked about the Democrats and an APE bill that got shot down by a Republican filibuster. Well, APE is an acronym that I invented in a moment of sheer genius while listening to Sirius Radio during a Tuesday road trip.

So here it is. In keeping with the highest traditions of Robert Pratt and his Dust Storm Award and Mike Church who points out that "Liberals Say the most Damn Dumbass Things" I have identified the APE.

APE (Anti Patriot Extremist):

Those who deliberately pursue an agenda that is obviously against the best interests of the USA as a whole, or personal liberties. These are the folks that will spout constitutional platitudes without understanding that the power is vested in the States or People respectively. APEs can be identified by a yearning to control virtually every aspect of your life via ever bigger government and ever more regulations. APE doctrine holds that taxation is something to embrace and that failure to embrace being taxed indicates that you are stupid or socially awkward.

To positivily identify an APE look for any of the following:
  • A burning desire to increase taxation on the rich while investing in tax free monetary vessels.
  • A fervent belief that getting ahead is only for those of the appropriate social class and standing.
  • Frequent references to the appropriate college or university where they received anti-American indoctrinations.
  • The absolute belief that the individual is morally required to give up what has been earned to those who didn't earn it. This believe is firmly shackled to the policy of confiscation of assets if the earners don't agree with the moral requirement.

This is not an exhaustive list by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, if you like, hit the ol comment button and add your observations of APE like behavior.

Finally, beware an APE quoting the Constitution or Declaration of Independence. Just as the devil can quote Scripture, so can an APE pretend to revere the foundations of liberty in these United States.

Planet of the APEs moment for this week: Hillary Clintons abject public surrender to Barack Obama. True Americans can lose the fight. Real Americans can acknowledge the loss. But even in defeat, non-Apes won't compromise on principle and throw themselves with abandon to the other side. But this concession following such a bitter campaign merely shows that Roddy McDowell was right.

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